Wednesday 28 March 2007

The Bishop's Thunderbox

Those familiar with you correspondent will be aware that he may no be the world's most openly religious individual,so you will forgive a degree of irreverence in this post.Janice works at Ggaba Primary Teachers training college.This is a catholic Church owned college which has fought hard to maintain its independence,and has at last been able to offer teaching diplomas recognised by two prestigious Ugandan Universities ,and not just church aided ones. So I was honoured and not a little surprised to find myself invited to attend the second graduation in four years, at which some 2,000 students past and present under and post graduate were awarded their diplomas and certificates. This ceremony was to take place in the presence of the Bishop of Kampala ,who was unfortunately otherwise engaged so the "ordinary"took his place( I am by no means sure what an ordinary was but it seems he is some form of deputy.
There was great discussion amongst the staff that that Bishop was to be provided with a personal thunderbox (it arrived on the back of a decent sized lorry), no great surprise as the alternative was the long drop toilets around the campus, awful is not enough and awesome probably sums it up.TK was moved to comment that it was bigger than most peoples houses.
The day commenced with a mass no bells or anything just every time the ordinary raised the host the crowd applauded, they applauded the sermon, the offertory,and when everyone wishing to do so had taken communion, again a somewhat random affair with the various clergy present wandering around with chalices and donating the contents to whoever came next ,they applauded again. the whole thing was done with an enormous exuberance which I think only Ugandans can match.
At the end the graduation took another two hours with lists of students being read out and applauded, a few more hymns and anthems, one for Buganda, one for Uganda and one for the college,and more applause we went off to dinner.
the Ordinary said grace to more applause and we ate a celebratory Ugandan feast at which for some reason I was not allowed any meat, it was a Friday (several of the crowd, students etc had called me "Father" which may have explained it). More prayers and applause and the ordinary went home. Inevitably someone asked whether or not he had used the thunderbox,which he had not.TK had the key and gave evidence to this example of religious continence, remarking that he might as well take it home as he needed another bedroom.

Sunday 25 March 2007

mutatus boda bodas and privates

Public transport is fun,here.basically there are boda bodas, cheap quick and lethal,mutatus slower cheap and uncomfortable,and privates or specials quicker more comfortable and ok.
A boda is a semiretired Honda 50 or similar usually driven by a helmetless bloke who scoots along the road looking back at anyone walking along shouting 'boda sebo' over his shoulder,roughly thats a request for you to act as his passenger.Now VSO realise that these are dangerous so no volunteers are allowed to use them,so of course none of us do ever ever(really!).
the down side of it is that today we came across one on its side with apssenger looking rather sad but in one piece, the driver definitely looking poorly.It was just outside theUganda Red Cross clinic which was open, so of course no one stopped. "ooh" said Henry who was our special driver "ver dangerous boda bodas ,always come second"
A special is a private cab,they are a bit more expensive,actually a lot more save that the maths mean that a 80k round trip to the Entebbe Botanical gardens beautiful place only cost 20 quid return for two of us, plus a soda for Henry.A taxi from home to the station cost us 10.00 the day before we left UK.
mutatus are superannuated Toyota Hi ace minibuses which the Japanese would have dumped in Japan but they recondition them and dump them here instead, they vary hugely although recently many of them have new seat covers and a few newish ones have appeared.The fares are cheap but the fare structure a little random,you pay more to go home from Kampala in the evening than to get in in the morning.Gaba where Janice works is 500 or 300 or 700 (first time only Muzungu price) depending on the Kondikator (say it quickly) or whether the Dereva (say that quickly as well) is having a bad day or its raining.
Today I got into a mutatu with the message on its windscreen "Guided by God" as it wove around the potholes horn blaring and kondikator waving at potential customers it was followed by another called "Fear God" third in the queue was another called "Inshallah" which sums up transport in Kampala. Happy Easter to all, and no Alan I don't think I would want that particular ref doing that to me with ten seconds to go in any case I would have taken the three and settled for a draw.

Thursday 15 March 2007

lake vic and Kyadodo Kobs12 heathens 8 good top national 2 standardat least



A truly African Few days. first of all the electric went down teice a day ,then the water then the net,gradully it all came back,the water by some mysterious means best known to itself we rang the man about the phone he knew just where we were but would not fix it until today.which he did.then unplugged the modem out of spite!no power+no work then my project manager got malaria!.
Janice is preparing for Graduation day they all have to start at 0700 and stand around for hours ewaiting for the bishop to chat and then present to 2,000 students some of whom may or may not be there.
Its now chucking it down but not heavily I am told as I can see the end of the garden.Just up the road is the Hotel International and the view from the terrace is of Lake Victoria.
The Rugby club is abit away but a good game was played although the ref left a bit to be desired.

Friday 2 March 2007

Uganda

We got here despite rumours to the contrary,managing to con customs with70kg of rubbish including two ukuleles!
First impressions - a beautiful country with lots of superficial wealth a lot more poverty and a fair bit of real money.Very green,rains on and off,the rains are late this year ,or so some people say.
Kampala is completely barmy; random taxi drivers minibuses by the thousand,and awesomely awful roads,thin tarmac if any no shoulders and potholes that could be explored by any one with a head lamp and breathing gear,amongst this speed bumps that would put Everest to shame. Driving is hairy to say the least,taxis(mutatus) fly all over the place as the private drivers try to avoid serious collisions,lorries sort of clamber over the bumps whilst their passengers cling to the piles of tat on the top. Occasionally a policeman contributes to it as they do anywhere with the difference that in Kampala they strategically add to the chaos by directing drivers into the gaps in the traffic! The final nail in the coffin is the boda boda or motorcycle taxi which you ride at your pertil the wrong way up one way streets and lanes pass on the inside, outside over the top and carry anything from the family to a nile perch ,which is a very big fish indeed!or indeeed a three foot circular saw!There is no road rage the Matatu conductors lean out of their windows and fend people off,noone gets cross its not bad or inconsiderate driving its just what you do.

Most of the vehicles are several years old exported test failures from Japan so Toyota and Suzuki predominate,they would universally fail an MOT,so stopping can be interesting,
As Kampal has about 2.8 million people in a space the size of Plymouth you get the picture.Hotels are appearing all over the place and roads are getting mended, as the Queen is here in November,local feeling is not a lot will change. Life here is certainly exciting but I dont think I will drive in Kampala!
Sorry about the phone call Ed and Al,J put phone numbers in phone but wrong so was a bit iffy about the lack of repliesto her texts.
No pics yet as havent quite worked out how to do it here.